“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church…” Eph 5:25
That’s a pretty tall order! The verse continues on to explain what’s required to love as Christ loved: “…and gave Himself for it.” One of the greatest difficulties in my Christian life has been in the area of understanding IN EVERY CIRCUMSTANCE what it takes to be a godly husband. At the same time, if I had to pick one earthly relationship that has taught me the most about the Lord, without a doubt, I would say that it has been my marriage.
At one time, I foolishly thought that God had provided more explicit instructions to wives than to husbands in the Bible. I used to be jealous over God giving women great passages like Proverbs 31 that detailed the qualities of a virtuous woman and how those qualities were to be lived out as a wife. It always stood out in my mind that the ladies got 6 verses at the beginning of 1 Peter 3 regarding their spousal role while we guys had to be content with one verse in v. 7. Whenever I would read the directions given to men and women in Titus 2:1-8, verses 4 and 5 seemed to be very detailed and specific in a woman’s responsibility as a wife and mother while the instruction to men was rather general and vague with nothing explicitly about my role as husband or father.
I admit that I was pretty short-sighted until God shed more light on our main text above. I read that verse one day and God “bolded” three words in my mind: “even as Christ.” Wow! It hit me that the entire Bible contained specific instruction for me as a husband because the Scripture was all about Jesus (Jn 5:39)! Now, every time I gain a fuller understanding of Christ, I get a clearer picture of what I should be as a husband. I must confess that it’s been a humbling experience.
So, what did Christ do as my heavenly Husband (this is going to hurt guys, but if you want to be like Jesus in your marriage, I encourage you to read on)? To name a few things, He gave up the glories of His heavenly dwelling with His Father in order to share that glory with me! “Though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, that ye through his poverty might be rich.” (2 Cor 8:9) And He didn’t bestow such grace upon those worthy of it. His acts of love were to the undeserving. “For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.” (Rom 5:6) He didn’t decide He was going to love those that were already affectionate toward Him. No, the only reason “we love Him [is] because He first loved us.” (1 Jn 4:19) When He was wrongfully rejected, despised, and persecuted, how did He respond? “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” (Lk 23:34) Do I need to go on, guys?
Some might say, “You’re forgetting those verses about wives submitting to their husbands and husbands being the head of their wives as Christ is of the church?” I’m not denying those verses because the Scripture is plain (1 Pet 3:1, Eph 5:23, Col 3:18, Titus 2:5) in that area, and in order for that mystical relationship between Christ and the church to be revealed in a marriage, those verses should be observed. But, as husbands, we need to understand that the pattern of our heavenly Husband toward His bride as He walked among us was the attitude of a servant. He confesses in Jn 13:13 that His disciples rightly called Him Lord and Master, but He makes that statement right after washing their feet to reveal that, even as their Lord, He was constantly serving their best interests. Truly, He put Himself last, and it’s no wonder that the Father has put Him first! (Mk 9:35, Ph 2:9)
For the past several weeks, we’ve been considering the topic of “holistic spirituality” in Ken Boa’s Conformed to His Image. The focus of that topic is to be Christ-centered in everything we do instead of living a compartmentalized life. Our home-life is no exception to this rule and for many of us that begins with our marriage. We’re starting chapter 17 this week where Ken discusses this concept in our day-to-day relationships beginning with the relationship between a husband and wife. I’ve been a bit one-sided in my thoughts this week because I’m on the husband-side of that equation, but the role of both parties is important if our marriages are to fulfill their intended purpose. It is that intended purpose that allows the married as well as the unmarried to benefit from this discussion, for as Paul writes concerning marriage in Eph 5:32, “This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.”
Jamie