Indeed, I myself thought I must do many things contrary to the name of Jesus of Nazareth. This I also did in Jerusalem, and many of the saints I shut up in prison, having received authority from the chief priests; and when they were put to death, I cast my vote against them. And I punished them often in every synagogue and compelled them to blaspheme; and being exceedingly enraged against them, I persecuted them even to foreign cities.
Acts 26:9-11
As Paul described his conversion to Agrippa and Festus, he didn’t sugarcoat what he once was. He hadn’t merely been indifferent to Christianity. He had hated those who claimed the name of Jesus! He had gone far beyond putting them down and ridiculing them. He had actually played a part in their martyrdom. Paul watched the garments for those who murdered Stephen so they could more accurately aim as they stoned that dear saint who was crying out to God for His tormentors’ forgiveness! (Act 7:58-8:1) Paul knew how bad he was before Christ saved Him.
If Christ has saved us, our sins are forgiven. It is a glorious truth that there is right NOW “no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus”! (Rom 8:1) But though we move forward in freedom from that past corruption, it doesn’t mean that we should forget what we were once guilty of. Paul’s letters to the churches show clearly that he never lost sight of who he was. In Gal 1:13 he wrote, “For you have heard of my former conduct in Judaism, how I persecuted the church of God beyond measure and tried to destroy it.” Though he was an apostle, he viewed himself as “the least of the apostles, who am not worthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God.” His past sin didn’t cripple him, but it kept him humble. He could admit that he “labored more abundantly than they all” while taking no credit for it and confessing “yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.” (1Co 15:9-10)
Rather than loading him down with guilt and hindering his ministry, Paul’s awareness of his past wickedness fueled his passion for the salvation of souls! Since he was so bad, he could serve absolutely anyone!! He never looked at other people and thought them to be beneath him or unworthy of saving. He never forgot that he was “formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an insolent man”. (1Ti 1:13) If God could save him, surely He could save anyone! And so he wrote, “This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief.” He viewed himself as living proof to God’s amazing Grace and mercy!
My brothers and sisters, we must never forget who we were when Christ found us. I know wickedness is abounding in our day, and the temptation is for our love to grow cold. (Mat 24:12) But, we should weep for the ungodly not hope for their destruction. When the disciples wanted to call down fire on the Samaritans who rejected Jesus, we read that, “He turned and rebuked them, and said, ‘You do not know what manner of spirit you are of. For the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives but to save them.’ ” (Luk 9:55-56) Only in realizing we were just as bad as everyone else will we be able to minister to every single soul we encounter. We all have sins that we find more detestable than others, but may our hatred of the sin not lead us to hate the sinner. May we be able to confess along with the apostle Paul: “I also please ALL men in all things, not seeking my own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved.” (1Co 10:33)
Jamie